disappearI taught her how to grow a backbone—How to fight the battles that mattered mostHow to say no and goodbye—I taught her how to leave without being noticed—How to fade away day by dayHow to merely cease—&& she used this knowledge against me.
Let Me Be ThereI’m not always strongSometimes I’m vulnerable around those I trustSometimes I allow myself to cry, allow myself to break- sometimes I need toBut when you need a break, and when you need to take off your armor to nurse your wounds-Lean on me and I’ll be strong enough for the both of us.
Your Words Aren't Pretty Like They Used To BeOnce upon a time-He made me feel safe&&She made me feel whole&&He made me feel okay&&She made me feel loved&&I believed them&&It hurt so badlyBecause they lied.
Too Distant To Be SeenThe moon caressed my skin as I gingerly peeled it offAnd the sun melted my bones as they were exposedMy muscles- the last shell- deteriorated instantlyAnd the stars ate my soul without another thought.
Hey Guess What!PssssstI love you.That’s it.Literally.Okay.Bye.
Is GoneEvery minute of the day is d r i f
UntitledDepression strikes againLike a bolt of lightning to the top of my metal tipped umbrellaAnd it gently guides me away from my field of flowers-Back into the muck of the swamp-Where I sink.
A Proper FuneralBury itBury itBury itBury itGive it a proper graveMaybe it’ll stop haunting you nowBury itBury itBury itBury itBury itBury itLeave flowers at its graveMaybe it’ll stop following you homeBury itBury itBury itBury itBury itDeeperAndDeeperUntil there is so much dirt caked under your nails that there is no point in trying to get it out.
Piece/Peace (concepts I)Piece/Peace (concepts I)Let me borrow some peace of mindSo you can continue to borrow some piece of mine.
Bite Your Tongue Till It BleedsBite Your Tongue Till It Bleeds Speak now or forever hold your peace,Or is it piece?‘Cause if I hold this piece of my mind,To myself, there will be no peace,Only an explosion of the mental mineThat riddles mine.I’m no man, I’m a mime,Holding his hands over his mouth,Biting my tongue so these words have no way out,With my eyes half-lidded, the other half brimmin’,With tears near the bottom half of the rim,Ready to fall like rainwater races down a windowsill. Angry to the point where I wish I could control the skies,Rain down Hell and fury that has built up inside,And watch my furious vision destroy the night. But this is not me,This not how I am,Nor how I will ever be.It’s just that I’ve been holding my peaceFor such a long damn time.Now it just seems the only “peace” I’m holding,Are pieces of my mind.
Too Many Doors At OnceThe wind blew past your hesitant fingersAnd thus all the doors came flying openThrowing you back into memories that you were not ready to receiveYet there is a difference from then and now-I’ll help you up and hold you closeAnd we can face these things together.
minus 2 min.2:00she struggles against the tears grappling on her face. she was wrecked, and felt as if each piece of her was torn to pieces and taped back together poorly like a child's art project. she felt insignificant like one, too.1:57a choking sob wrestles against air for escape from her throat. the air wins. she nearly suffocates as the sob retreats.1:51her family was downstairs doing nothing. at least, nothing which would matter to her, anyway. they were unaware that the family tapestry that held them together was about to be unraveled.1:44her friend texts her but the vibration fails to capture her attention. she, herself, is already caught by her own misery. she's fighting so valiantly against succumbing. another text goes amiss six seconds later.1:38her friend is mildly annoyed, and decides to text someone else. her friend has always had low patience.1:30she pulls herself up and her teeth pound in rhythm with her temples. her heart thumps at a lazy beat, as if floati
little white lies when dreams dieYou could never quite comprehend the difference between“I’m fine”&&“I’m okay”Where one was a lie and one meant merely alive.
TogetherYour heartstringsAnd mineAre intertwinedAnd I feel like even if we wanted to grow apartThatWe simply wouldn’t be able to.
i breatheBreaths too shallow for deep lungs.
The Beautiful Things In My DestructionMy lungs no longer scream for airAnd the pain in them has eased to nothing but a dull throbAnd the coral reefs are so beautiful when you’re down below them looking up.
Would You Remember Me?If I should burnWould you hold my hand until it went up in flames?If I should freezeWould you sit by me until the tips of my fingers were colored purple?If I should dieWould you think about me until my last breath is forced past my unwilling lips?- -If I should liveWill you stay by my side to remind me?
TempoEscapando do passadoTemendo o futuro
Conversations in the SkyYou're the one that everyone loves,from whom grants me the lightto shine the star thatlights angels haloi am the void of the nightshallow, mercurial, and cold.You are the brightIn a sea of darkA mysterious beingPeople aspire to touch.I thank you for your flattery,but I fear you aremistaken about meyou are the wondrous torch of theday that even lilts lightupon my frame!Wondrous torch you say?Things are not as they may seemFor it gets lonely and stressfulTo be the only providerFor hours on end.It must be so nice,To have friends aroundWho share your burden.Nothing ever seldom is as it seems,but I can't help but bejealous of your gleams and starsmake poor companyfor you are their brotheri am nothing morethan the ocean's mercurial mother.But to rule the sea,You have such control.While I just shine,No matter if people seeOr more likely when they don't.For most slave away inside all dayAnd only come out to seeYour glorious night.If only you could
Tips on Getting Me Through a CrisisLove me.Remember I am stillthe woman you know.I am still foundin every partof this body's rhythm--I am in the ka-thump, ka-thumpof my heartbeat,the steady flowof blood that courses riverson its way to these limbs.Remember that. Even when I seem gone,I am still here.ii.Do not promise to never leave.People leave. Hearts grow oldand heavy; I do not wantto be a burden you carry--I do not want to be an obligationto a promise.If you need to leave,leave, but be honestif you tell meyou're coming back.iii.Ignore the voice in your headlying to you. I am tired. I am weary,but my heart has not goneand I still appreciate you.Forgive me for not singingmy usual songs. I have not forgottenor moved on without you,but the plover nestled behind my tonsilsswoops, swoops. She believesshe protects me, even as her beaksplits my throat.iv.Remember and remind me.I may be hidingbeneath the covers,tucking myself into a cupboardlike a skeleton,or scratching through walls
Never tell her you understand, never.if her eyes fade out and the shutters slam, watch them.old sitcoms will colorthem blue and green again. if her spine curves and foldsin on itself, hold yourself.draw the curtains and fill the house with thesmell of fresh bread: it will rouse her tired bones. if her breath hitches and you can hear it stuttering in the night, roll over. switch on the light and let her simmer intoher own brand of silence beforeyou cease her shivering. if her body betrays her sadness and her lips tell you lies, believe her: she does not mean them. give her time to clear the dust from her lips and welcome her with open arms later. if her arms offer apologies and her hands shake, accept them. tell her that her best effort is enough,that you don't mind if it takestime: she will love you for it.
Reasons not to be proud:i.Recovery from self destruction;it’s time to hide your pain.You should never have been so weakto have started.You should never have been so selfishto have cut yourself.Sweep it under the doormat,Scuff your soles raw and bleeding,Hang your head in shame,And do no hurt again.ii.An effort not to waste away;I was not sick today.You have better than you deservefor all your whining.You eat an awful lotfor someone starving.Flush it all away,Scar your knuckles with acid teeth,Hang your head in shame,And do not purge again.iii.I tried for you;to appear to be okay.Because nobody wantsill-minded offspring.Because nobody wantsanother failed talent.Hide behind your mask,Stitch it to your face,Hang your head in shame,And do not break again.Pride is a deadly sin,if you believe in what they say;Unless society deems it worthy.
Distorted thinkingA single word emerges from her lips,Glistening in free-fall,Distorting in slow motion,Convolutions of toxic greenletters, figures, spectres,Seizures of monstrosities,Panicked lashes, molten whips,Snapped wrists conceivedof copper stapled findings,Licking, caressing, flourishinga rose of ice tainted crystals.A single drop fractures on the marble,Inky veins embracing,Lucid shards scattered,Hijacked bait, razor fangs,Searching, seeking, scouringshame on pristine flesh,Creased parchment eyelidsflutter, decrepitating limitsinundated by wildfire, crackling,Hounds caterwaul, bay, yowlprofanities in the hush.A single glimpse from iron cast eyes,Vacant, downtrodden voids,Sapphire irises intertwine,Iridescent perplexities nuzzling,Gnawing, piercing, nibblinglacerations, weeping corruptions,Fettered implosions foldingnotched cartilage, dissolvingimperceivable actualities,Fictions, deceptions, fabricationsenveloping diamond nerves.
Do not discriminateI think people bipolar, schizophrenic, depressive, anxious, ectneeds a lot of understanding.Do not discriminate.They are not dangerous.Not even have to avoid them.They are people with a problem that requires medicationYou have to feel compassion for the mentally illNobody is to blame for being mentally illOf course we must not isolate them.
WritershipFind a messagein the bottle of regretsbrought at your feet by the mourning tide.Loose yourselfin the smudge of inkleft by a stranger lost as you are.Stars already blinkingtheir yesterday lightupon your little island;castawayin the oceanic darkness.Let the panicfill your bloodstream,let it steal your breath.Wait till the first line comes,on rocksit breaks.Listen, speaks to youthe voice of a mermaidsweet and terriblelike the waves.Forgotten by the worldtrust the sandwith impossible letters,trust the waterwith impossible dreams.
Self Injury Awareness Day 2014Hi everyone. Many of you know through my artwork that I have struggled with self harm in the past (and sometimes this struggle pops itself right back into my present). As a result, one thing I believe strongly in, is awareness around self injury, and the minimisation of stigma.This year, I've compiled a self injury related artwork feature -- but before you look too worried about triggers and click off, I want you to know that these works have been chosen carefully to minimise triggers for those who do self harm.I don't believe it's necessary to use triggering images to promote awareness of the topic, and actually think that can be sometimes counter productive, so while I can't guarantee you won't be triggered by the artworks I've included, I can tell you there's nothing graphic or of a particularly triggering nature.If, in viewing the images and artworks, you become triggered, please seek help from someone you trust.
Less Than ThreeI f a l l .