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As The LoverYou whisper
Beautiful lies into my bloodshot, swollen eyes
As you dab the blood off my flesh, where it had been running down my neck.
when the day is done i'll be goneIn my fingertips is the devil
Daring me to touch what is not to be touched
And I care not, reaching through my own open ribcage
To touch what lies between inflating balloons that are my lungs-
In my ears echo your voice,
Begging me not to reverse the corruption in my heart
And I care not, reaching between my lungs to grasp my heart with my inked fingers
To release the sigil stitched deep into the veins of my heart.
To The One Whom My Heart Belongs ToOh how I long to open my eyes
To see your beautiful face next to mine
Oh how I long to brush my fingertips across your cheek
Against your jaw
Down your neck
To your chest-
To feel your heart beating away;
The heart that keeps mine willing to keep beating too
Oh how I long to bring you breakfast in bed-
Waffles browned to perfection,
Ripened strawberries placed ontop
With a can of whipped cream on the side, yes the whole can just for you
With your favorite mug of your favorite coffee with rose petals upon the surface
And I long to be the one to dab some whipped cream on your nose
Just so I can be the one to kiss it off
And oh how I long to braid your fingers together with mine
As we walk down to the market to buy
Makings for dinner and dessert,
And maybe some wine?
“But of course” I imagine you’d say
Oh how I long to be the one who brightens up your day
Who gets to see your luscious lips turned up at the corners
And oh how I long to be the one with
Permission to kiss t
Broken BurnsI curl up in the shelter that is my bed
And pull the covers over my head
My body is grateful for this simple type of rest
My mind is sleeping, there are no thoughts at best
I forgot my caramel coffee with a cup of sugar on the bedside table
My shaking hands take up the mug, they are nowhere near stable
And as to prove that, my coffee spills and stains my shirt
In the same sort of way that you stained my heart.
On How Not To Become Attachedi. Close the gates to your heart
Gates, not walls, make it so you can still feel a little but
Don’t you dare open that lock
ii. Don’t ask how they are
Only talk about the subject at hand- like a game, a poem, a book
Don’t delve further- stay in the well-lit part of their life
iii. And when they’re nice
Tell yourself they’re nice to everyone, that you’re no different, don’t you dare think you’re different
You’ll never be different
iv. It’ll be a pleasant sort of empty for a while
But when you find yourself lingering on their words it’s time to go
v. Just don’t be like me
Don’t write this, or repeat it over and over again with every intent of following through
And then just abandoning it,
Don’t do that.
I Tear My Skin AwayI Tear My Skin Away
I tear this skin from my body,
Even if the world screams,
That I am only an illusion.
I tear the bones from my legs,
Through pain, I will grow,
Through suffering, I will become.
I rip the muscles from my arms,
These teeth from my jaws...
And with nothing upon me,
I carry on...
Like a broken puppet, still shivering,
Still forcing its way through the darkness;
I tremble for I am nothing...
And yet, I am moving. My voice still screams...
I draw breath into these tired lungs,
As I rip the flesh away...
And I shatter these mirrors before me,
With a voice that will not break:
Because the world cannot label me as nothing,
And I will live for my own sake!
"So tell me, is that all the pain you've got for me?"
You're beautifulPlease eat.
Are you listening to me?
If you are,
I want to tell you.
You re beautiful.
It doesn't matter what you weigh,
you shouldn't feel guilty about what you ate.
It doesn't matter,
I promise you things will get better.
Listen to my words,
Hold my hand.
Don't worry about the rest of the world,
It's okay if they don't understand,
How it feels like,
To feel fat,
To feel ugly,
To feel worthless.
You are none of those things.
It s okay to be chubby,
It s okay to be skinny.
Because you have a big heart.
And your smile,
Is like a priceless work of art.
And I don't want to see you destroy,
Because you're more than just a broken toy.
And to everyone else,
So for once let yourself be,
Accept your reflection.
Because you are the definition of perfection.
So don't worry,
Don't be sorry,
To be who you are.
Because you re,
Those Green Eyes (Or: Don't Lie to Your Kid)Those green eyes -
The green of joy
The green of hope
The green of love and acceptance -
Were always full of lies.
They first lied when I said,
After a nightmare at four am
When I was too small to reach a light switch,
“Will you ever leave me?”
And those eyes said,
Why did those green eyes
Shut when I needed them most?
"Are you okay?"
Would be a red line
That I would etch into myself
Those green eyes melted.
Those green eyes did shine
And I knew what it was -
I was young, not stupid -
But I indulged the lie,
For those green eyes.
"Will it get better?"
I asked one sunny Saturday
At ten in the morning
And those green eyes looked away;
“And you’ll be here forever?”
There were no words.
I made up my own affirmative.
Those green eyes -
When they saw
How I’d rubbed myself raw
notes on a matchbook love.if I were the type
to say how I really felt,
I'd tell you that
I hope you choke on your apologies
like they're arsenic
and your nails are already
with the poison.
I'd let you know
that I'll never be a body
for you to touch
just because I know that's all you want.
I'll never be a fairy in a bottle
at your waist.
this is no storybook, and
I am no myth.
hear my silence,
feel the cold absence
respond to your weak "I'm sorry"s.
I beg you,
stop digging the hole,
stop, just stop.
Hush and watch the flames
engulf the image you sold me.
you can tell me
I'm beautiful as much
as you want,
but I know that it's not enough,
that you'll always want more,
that you've been a wolf
between my legs all this time
and my fingers are bruised
from holding the leash.
now every time you whisper
"please be okay",
I will always tell you that
I'm fine, I'm fine, I'm fine.
I will forever pretend
that I've grown up from you,
that I've become a mystery
What is Hope?Hope is something we have as children,
It helps us thrive and try our hardest.
Hope is what we express in the worst of times
When all hope seems lost.
Hope is what people possess in life
To work toward our dreams.
Hope is a lie
That's not worth our time.
I Know You're Strong, Let's Be Stronger TogetherI Know You're Strong, Let's Be Stronger Together
if i’m being completely honest,
i can’t say i know what you’re goin’ through.
and if i’m being frank,
i’m sort of afraid to write this
because i’ve always been unsure
if i love too much but it’s my nature
and i’d rather lose by trying too hard
than to do so without doing enough.
i hope you’re asleep now
and i hope you don’t read this
till the morning and i hope by then
things will be a little lighter
but i’m hoping against hope
because if you don’t know,
i feel when things are off.
call it intuition, call it a feelin’,
say i just know it.
my friend, my door is always open
even when you’re feeling closed
off to the world and right there,
i can understand that feeling well,
because i still feel we relate to one another
better than most brothers understand their sisters.
know i look at you as a sibling
and i believe we know when the other
AnxietyAnxiety tapping on my door,
"Can I come inside your head?"
I shiver, not ready for its visit.
It charges in, smelling of worry.
Spends a morning, afternoon and night,
playing with my emotions.
A marionette dancing its old tune on rough strings.
Leaves me winded and praying to beat it the next time.
AltruismIt kills me inside
To see others suffering
I want to help
I try to help
But my efforts feel weak
I know I'm doing the best I can
With what I have
But I feel like
It's just not enough
But I keep trying
So I don't lose anymore friends
Keep in Touch!
scheinbar is a much-loved and well-known deviant. Just one look at her gallery, filled with enchanting photography, will have you mesmerized. A deviant for over 7 years, Christiane can always be found posting inspirational features as well as regularly commenting on other deviations and encouraging and empowering her fellow deviants. We are inspired and insist that you too stop by and congratulate ... Read More